I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
