found the other keg... it's in the tree
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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