ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
