This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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