Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
