i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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