I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
