11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
