Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
