he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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