YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Couch. On fire.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
