sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
