I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
