Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
