Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
