It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
