he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
