sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i already hear my dad disowning me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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