Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
