im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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