im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
