i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
