just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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