what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
