to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
