so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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