Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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