Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
