Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
