Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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