toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
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