Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
