If that was your dad, he is hot
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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