His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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