You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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