Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
