Acid is not a monday night drug
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
