Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Pants are for mortals
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
