got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
