If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
