He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
