Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
