shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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