We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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