I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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