Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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