I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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