Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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