Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
