Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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