shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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