remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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