Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
