conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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