so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
