I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
