yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
