Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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