Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I came so hard my ears popped.
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